Friday, September 9, 2011

I am NOT a blog quitter ....

Hmmm   TRex doesn't seem too put out does he?
I've just had a really, really rough summer.    A friend of mine, Amy, sent me an email today to let me know that she missed my blogs.    She had also checked in on me earlier in the summer to see if we were ok since I hadn't posted anything.   I let her know that our "minor" fire from the incense turned into a huge ordeal that sucked up close to 7 weeks of our summer.   Our contents were 95% packed up and taken offsite for cleaning.   Then, a cleaning crew came here to scrub our walls, clean our duct system and  paint our house.    It was a very frustrating and annoying situation to be in.   Every day I had to lock the dogs in the basement because they would certainly have bitten one of the workers.  The company I dealt with was just awful - they lied to me, they bullied me and they made things as inconvenient as possible.   I'm still trying to figure out how to get their removed as a preferred vendor from my insurance company's list.
We just got our contents back a couple of weeks ago and I've been busy, busy busy unpacking and cleaning.     I'm still not finished but I caught a cold from JTK this week.   blah!!

There's been so much that's happened this summer I can't possibly comment on all of it.    A lot of it was incredibly stressful and I missed blogging so much.   I didn't realize how much I depended on blogging to get my feelings OUT of my system.   

The saddest thing that happened this summer is Foxie Roxie, my Mom's dog had to be put to sleep.   It was so sad - my brother had to face the moment alone saying goodbye.   It's something I don't envy him.  I know it's the last loving act we can do for a beloved furry friend, but it's just an awful experience.   The night she had to be put to sleep, I knew Craig was taking her to the vet.  I  even almost stopped by the vet on the way home to visit with them.   I was sure she was ok - I thought they just needed to get her diabetes under control.   Then, after I got home I didn't have my phone near me so I didn't realize Craig had tried calling me 6-7 times.   When I saw that ... well I knew it wasn't good.   When I finally called him back he already had to say goodbye.  
Foxie Roxie
Poor Foxie's kidneys had begun to shut down and she would be better off crossing the rainbow bridge.   I know without a doubt that Foxie Roxie had a wonderful life her last couple of years with my Mom and that she was loved and spoiled by my whole family.    But in the end, I still questioned what else I could have or should have done to help her out.    Was I so consumed with my own drama at home that I didn't pay attention to how sick she really was?   Did I lie to myself about how she was doing?    It goes on and on - it's so hard to say goodbye it's easier to think we could have prevented it in some way.   My Mom was crushed and I felt so bad for her.  My brother had a rough time of it too.   The only one who could possibly be better off is Foxie Roxie who is frolicking and playing and enjoying a healthy life across the Rainbow Bridge.

The day after Foxie had to be put to sleep, I had a call from someone who had previously adopted one of my fosters and I was convinced she was wanting to bring her back.   But by the time I called her back, she had just had to put her min pin to sleep.   Oh my goodness .... it was so horrible to hear.   This was a young dog and she had 'gone down in the back" and her family couldn't afford the costly surgery that might not even work.    That was such sad news to hear right behind Foxie's death.     Once again I tried to blame myself because I hadn't called her back quickly enough.    I was so involved in my own grief over Foxie and my frustration with my living conditions that I couldn't deal with what I thought was the return of a foster.    That ... was a rough week.

During most of this time we've been without a foster as well.   In many ways it was best for everyone because our life was too chaotic to try and  socialize a foster into our home.    Piko was adopted and he was a tough cookie to say goodbye to.    Of course, his silly and funny antics were quickly transferred to his new family.   That's always a relief but sometimes it can feel a little bittersweet.    

We've been so busy that it was nice to have a break and to have our weekends off but I find I'm itching to get involved with our group again and start helping to save lives again.  It is emotionally exhausting and trying but I tell I'm really missing it right now. 

This weekend our group is having a big "reunion" of people who have adopted from our group.   I've decided I'll only be taking Jingle since she's the only dog I consciously adopted - the rest of our dogs from the group just wormed their way into our lives.  :)    I'm really looking forward to seeing some friends and past fosters.

Speaking of Jingle - she's doing better than ever.   She was hospitalized and seriously sick in July.   Her temperature hit 105 and after a number of tests it was finally discovered that she had an infected gall bladder.    Had she been younger, a surgery would have been performed.   But due to her age and her health they decided to fight the infection with medication.   After receiving fluids and antibiotics via IV, she came home with serious antibiotics - 2 doses twice a day for a month!   But after she got off the medicine, she didn't get worse again and my heart was lifted with joy!   She's doing better than ever - she's more playful than ever, she's more spirited and she's acting younger than ever.   It makes me wonder if she's had a low grade infection in her gall bladder for a long time. 

The noise of the camera woke him up and he
 tried to tell me he had never fallen asleep.  HA!
I'm ready for life to get a little more boring and reaching out and rekindling the friendships we have.   And I know you've all missed the famous JTK sleepin' in the car pictures!  woohoo   I really am back.    

PS - thanks for the nudge Amy :)

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